The Weekly Weasel (211)

Friday, 22 September 2017 12:47

THE WEEKLY WEASEL PREVIEWS ROYALE

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THE WEEKLY WEASEL PREVIEWS ROYALE

Celebrating our club’s most competitive annual tradition, the Weasel Royale Championship Game

This FINAL Weekly Weasel of the 2017 season will preview our second to final board. The next Weekly Weasel will be our 2018 preview, which will come out sometime before the next bar game.

FEATURING
WEASTATS Pre-stats: Your player overview featuring embarrassing photos, statistics, and super sexy radar charts 

Pardon my French Method: A brief overview of our championship power selection

The 8th Place Prognostication: Our newest club honor where the Weasel who just missed the cut with provide our Royale Prediction. This year’s honorary Prognosticator: Bryan Pravel

But before we hear who will be our Bull Weasel, let’s meet the bullshitters contenders!

Wednesday, 30 August 2017 11:51

THE WEEKLY WEASEL PREPARES FOR PYLE

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THE WEEKLY WEASEL PREPS FOR PYLE

Election email going out this evening, 3 days til college football, 4 days til we strike the regimental, 5 days til celebration of Labor. It’s a great week to be a Weasel. 

COME NOW WEASELS…
Our club’s most revered tradition, the Weasel Pyle, is this Sunday at Casa O’Kelley. We have 22 24 players signed up, including a sizeable Old Guard Contingent. Come play Diplomacy -- the fun starts at 11, but if we have 6 willing players at 320ish, your writer will actually get to play in the late game. Awards to follow.

Wednesday, 09 August 2017 16:58

THE WEEKLY WEASEL AIN'T DEAD YET

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THE WEEKLY WEASEL AIN’T DEAD YET

Featured this week: terrible, terrible puns. Yes, they're worse than usual.

 

A ROARing Finish

Our last game of the Bar Room Brawl is this evening, meaning that this is your last chance to qualify for the BAR ROOM BRAWL TITLE BOUT (and a chance at winning your name on Cockerill’s Orb)! Swing by the Red Lion at 6:30 for the festivities.

 

A raging election

It’s that time of year, folks. Sneak elections occur at the Pyle. Any paid up members can vote, any paid up members can run. 3 spots are open, we have 1 incumbent and a couple other candidates who have indicated interest. If you are interested in running for the Sneak, send an email to Jake, your Chief of Public Information, by 8/16. Also reach out if you have any questions.

 

Newsflash: Jim O’Kelley does not suck at Diplomacy

It seems reports of the club founder’s death have been greatly exaggerated. Jim dropped a sizeable German board top at last week’s reunion bar game, where we welcomed back ex-pat Christian MacDonald. After spending the majority of the season outside the Top 7, Jim’s top has secured him a place in the Royale and continues his momentum since winning CODCON.  This development is particularly painful to hear because we here at the Weekly Weasel had a joke prepared for Pyle had Jim failed to make the top 7.

“Jim said he needed to take a step back this year for his marriage, and he did an excellent job at that, missing the Weasel Royale for the first time.”

We’ll be here all week, folks. For a recap and other jokes straight from the comedy cemetery, hit up the recap here.

Wednesday, 26 July 2017 10:52

THE WEEKLY WEASEL EMBRACES THE INEVITABLE

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THE WEEKLY WEASEL EMBRACES THE INEVITABLE

Oh hey folks. Been a while. How are things, what’s new? Let me just check the league standings real quick and…

BREAKING NEWS: FOGEL DOMINATES LEAGUE 

This month’s bar game had a not-so-friendly reminder that diplomacy is a game where 7 players push blocks around a map of Europe for a few hours and in the end Brandon wins. Except this time it was by 75. Not a score of 75, his margin was 75. This vaults the Biggest Threat on Any Board to 198 points on the year, first in the league by a whopping 30 points. Game recaps incoming here.

Now, we have to give some credit where credit is due. Jim called the game a “batting practice fastball,” but herding cats for four hours is a damn tough job, even if they’re just kittens. Herding kittens to the highest non-solo score in league history is even more impressive. In fact, why don’t we make a list of all the impressive things BTOABrandon has accomplished this year:

Moot is two weeks away from today at DIVERSEY BOWL #themootabides. But before that, we here at the Weekly Weasel need your help! 

IS THIS YOUR HOMEWORK, LARRY?
I need your help, folks, to help me help you. One of our goals here as Weasels is developing championship players. I am working on developing some worksheets/ tools to help players self-evaluate their games. Ideally, I’ll post these right after Moot, when all but one of us is wondering why we didn’t win the tournament / why we suck at diplomacy.

But to improve the quality of the resources (and that no one takes one look and says “that’s just like your opinion, man”), I would love to hear from you. What are the keys to getting better at diplomacy? Where do you players get tripped up? What are key growth areas/ signs of growth? Reach out to me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. with your thoughts.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts and recos. 

OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE NOT A GOLFER
Because you’ll be playing diplomacy at Weasel Moot two weeks from RIGHT NOW! 4 rounds with one drop round, so it’s okay if the bar eats you and you have to mark it zero, dude. The moot will abide starting 6/23---sign up here. 

THE WEEKLY WEASEL GETS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS

Miley Cyrus week here at the Weekly Weasel. It's our party- we can do what we want.

 

I CAME IN LIKE A RUSSIAN BALL

Russia is blasting to a comparatively excellent season, with the second highest average score and tied for the second highest number of board tops. Game 341 was no exception, as Bryan Pravel pushed the Russian Resurgence at last week’s bar game, securing a 9 center board top and moving himself into the top 7 on the year. Following his best Russia performance at CODCON, Pravel has now topped 3 of his last four boards as Mother Russia (shout out to the research department here at the Weekly Weasel, who pulled that stat.) Ali Adib also picked up points in a second place performance. Game results here.

THE SEVEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

Tuesday night brings a bonus bar game, with seven players set to play at the aptly named Seven, a restaurant in Brian Shelden’s apartment building. Should be a fascinating board- three vets, two Trottas (Papa and Ian), and two rookies. Your writer was going to play, but got scheduled for focus groups Tuesday evening, and will thus be arriving late to help coach and yell at the Golden State Warriors. We’ll have to settle for A Tale of Two Trottas instead of the Trotta, Trotta, Trotta sequel. Hint hint at what the game headline will be.

Festivities kick off at 630. Coin flip whether there will be post game karaoke. If history is any indication, that coin flip turns to a certainty should the Prime Weasel hear anything by Sugarland. 

THERE’S ALWAYS GONNA BE ANOTHER MOUNTAIN…

Speaking of Seven and feminine karaoke ballads about life's journey, “The Climb” for Weasel Royale is remarkably competitive this year. Following Pravel’s board top, the top 7 all have scores exceeding 100 points, with four veterans close behind. While the top 3 spots are likely secure, we have 8 players competing for the final four spots in our club’s championship. With three months remaining, there is plenty of time for additional challengers to stake their claim in what should be a bloodbath of a home stretch.

WE CAN’T STOP. AND WE WON’T STOP.

The final year brought red cups and sweaty bodies everywhere, but Game 340 ended with Jake Trotta extending his personal league topping streak to 3. The nine center effort brings him one short of Brandon Fogel’s presumed record streak of 4 consecutive tops (research department is working round the clock on this, folks.) Check out some fine AARs, where Trotta did presciently predict the result of game 341.

PARTY IN THE USA

The Wise Old Weasel is back with a patriotic vengeance. The WOW: France appeared last week, and your writer could not bring himself to say nice things about France, so it was rewritten as the WOW: America. Brandon posited that this may be due to some Italian inferiority complex; your writer has no defense in that regard. Share your best baguette battle strategies here.

 

Wednesday, 03 May 2017 17:14

THE WEEKLY WEASEL CELEBRATES SIXO

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THE WISE OLD WEASEL CELEBRATES SIXO DE MAYO
Well, that was a little delay with a lot of Diplomacy in it.  

A FIERY FIESTA FEATURING PITBULL AT PRAVEL’S
You’ve heard of Cinco, but the Weasels will be celebrating on the 6th this year at Bryan Pravel’s river north apartment. Since Bryan is moving, it will be the last game at the venue, but there will be plenty of SIXO DE MAYO CELEBRATION with a spicy board of veteran players. In true Latin style, we will Mexican food in at least the form of tortilla chips, Pitbull playing nonstop in the background, and one drawn out discussion from Jake about how Dos Equis Amber is the superior Mexican import. Yes, that means I'll bring some.

Sign up for the Siesta here.

DAD’S GOT GAME (AND NOW A TROPHY)
In case anyone hasn’t heard yet, club founder Jim O’Kelley won CODCON (his first Chicago tournament title) with a rousing Turkish solo, in addition to a quality English board top. It was one hell of an event for the Witches- to such a degree that Best France was only 12 points (congrats Prime Weasel Shelden!) Your writer got both second place and the Icarus fish for biggest flop, while world’s nicest Weasel Bryan Pravel put down the hair gel, took the gloves off, and earned both Best Stab and Third Place honors. Commentary and game recaps are coming in, check them all out here.

GIVE EM THE RINGER, DUDE
The Weasels had a great game over at Diversey Bowl a couple weeks back. In a mad rush of a final year, Jake Trotta landed an 8 center board top. Brandon Fogel did a wonderful job coaching rookie player Randi Miller, as well as ensuring no one treated objects like women, man. Read about all the action here. We also had a bar game, topped by newcomer Jocie Nelson, which you can read about here.

Tuesday, 04 April 2017 14:52

THE WEEKLY WEASEL IS ON A MISSION FROM COD

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THE WEEKLIER WEASEL IS ON A MISSION FROM COD

Before we get into CODCON HYPE, let us first point out that two of the top five Austria performances of club history, including the biggest ever, happened last week. Which happened to be the week after the publishing of Wise Old Weasel: Austria. Coincidence? Sister Margaretta thinks not.

Now, back to the news at hand.

Hit it.

LIE TELLIN’ IN GLEN ELLYN. TOPPING BOARDS IN STUDENT RESOURCE. STABS AND RAGE AT COLLEGE OF DUPAGE.

That’s right folks, CODCON, the Outback Bowl of the Diplomacy hobby, is coming up this weekend. Grab your notebooks and bloomin’ onions- it’s about to get HYPEEEEEE! The madness kicks off at 9am on Saturday at, you guessed it, the student resource center at College of Dupage in lovely Glen Ellyn, Illinois. If you haven’t already, sign up here. Bonus- if you pay your dues, then you save money on the fee. That’s like saving two puppies at once.

We’re back with a triumphant return after getting chewed out on Twitter. Thanks, guys. I appreciate the Speaky Weasel support.

MARTIN, KLINE STRIKE IN BOWLING ALLEY

Headlines like that are worth the wait, folks. Chicago’s finest diplomacy hobby had a wonderful outing last weekend at Diversey Bowl, again hosting two boards. Out-of-towner Chris Martin topped one with a 48 point Russian performance, taking over this year’s Top Czar score and deeply disappointing your writer. On the other board, Christian Kline eeked out a 7-6-6 split as France, earning his second top this year. Recaps are starting to come in, read all about it here.

We’re back at Red Lion for a game next Wednesday… and we’re on a two board hot streak! Check what it’s brawl about here.

I'm starting to believe the GOP might play diplomacy. If I've learned anything in this world of dot grabbing bastards, it's that the only way to look ethical is to make someone else look unethical. 


SPEAKING OF SNAKE OIL

In our bonus bar game, Italy (yours truly) slithered its way to a 16-dot board top and the top of the league/brawl standings. For recaps and insight from The Jungle Book, click here. Also click to see Jim amusingly guilt himself into updating the standings. Thanks, Jim.


NEW KIDS THROWIN' DOWN IN UPTOWN

Rookie of the Year front-runner and South Carolina's second favorite son (couldn't bump you ahead of Colbert) Mick Johnson is hosting this Saturday at 11 in Uptown. The board currently features 3 first timers, one rookie, and three guys in their second season of WCW play. Can we push for 2? If not, come on by, hang out, and help coach a young weasel! Sign up here.

Hit the jump for next week bar game details, Wise Old Weasel updates, and your usual and customary pupptricide shaming.

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